The Unexpected Breastfeeding Struggles
Hello again and welcome to this week’s topic. Fall is officially here, bringing cozy moments and chilly mornings and I am loving having my fall decor up and making pumpkin everything!
While I do love all the cozy fall things, I can’t deny that I am already dreading the early mornings when I leave for work and it is cold and dark out there. I miss seeing the sunrise when I leave. Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way (wouldn’t be very Canadian of me to not mention the changing weather) let’s get into this week’s topic.
This is something that has been on my mind for months and months and I am happy to finally be writing about it. In my role as a nurse in a birthing and postpartum unit, I've observed a recurring theme among new mothers – the challenges they face when it comes to breastfeeding.
What struck me the most was that almost every mother believed she was the only one experiencing these struggles. This, however, couldn't be further from the truth. I've moved from room to room, assisting mothers who, whether it's their first baby or not, face difficulties with breastfeeding.
Some were still experiencing that “out of body” surreal feeling as they finally got to hold their baby in their arms to really even notice how the breastfeeding was going in those first few hours. The struggle doesn’t usually come immediately from what I’ve seen.
When the baby is first born, they are usually very awake and active and it’s the perfect time to bond with them and feed them. We call it the “golden hour”.During this time, they readily latch and feed. However, as time goes on, some babies become sleepier and may not wake on their own to feed or struggle with proper latching.
When there isn’t a deep and proper latch and seal around the areola, and the baby is only sucking on the nipples, they can become extremely sore. The improper latch can cause blisters/broken skin and bleeding within the first day of starting to breastfeed. It really doesn’t take many feeds to start to notice the effects of an improper latch.
Supporting the baby’s head with one hand and the breast with the other in the cross cradle position, allows the baby’s head to be brought to the breast when their mouth is wide open and allows more control. For a picture illustration click here.
Different positions work better for different people, and finding the right one may require some trial and error. For example, after a c-section many women prefer to do a “football hold” so that the baby isn’t laying on their belly as it can be too sore from the surgery. It can take trying out several positions to see what works best for you and your baby. Click here to see different positions to try.
Something I always strive to remind my patients is that while breastfeeding is something natural, it doesn't always come naturally. Most people will instinctively hold their babies in the cradle position when baby is first born and while that position feels the most comfortable for many, it doesn’t work well right in the beginning as you can’t guide the baby’s head in the same way as you can with the cross cradle position or football hold.
Using your hand to hold the baby’s head instead of your arm, allows you more control of the head and you can position the baby looking slightly up and bring them in chin first. With the hand holding up the head you can move their lips up and down the nipple to have them open up wide and to bring them in to cover as much of the areola as possible. This ensures a deep latch and hopefully a painless experience.
Once the pain starts, it can be absolutely excruciating and hard to keep going. I see this happen all the time which is why it’s so important to start with the proper technique early. But even so sometimes there will still be some mild soreness and an adjusting period.
If your hospital has a lactation specialist available, definitely request to see them before you go home. If there isn’t one, and you are struggling then I can’t recommend enough booking an appointment with one outside of the hospital. If you are in Toronto, here are some options for you.
Breastfeeding encompasses various aspects, from bonding with your baby to feeding them. It's a privilege, but it's also demanding and exhausting, with newborns requiring feeds every 2-3 hours. Add in the interruptions from your nurse coming in to do checks, and it's easy to see how this can lead to sleep deprivation.
The combination of sleeplessness, hormonal changes, and the adjustment to parenthood can be overwhelming. I've often seen mothers break down in tears within the first 24-48 hours, believing they're somehow failing when they feel that they are not able to properly feed their baby.
As a nurse, I have the enormous privilege of witnessing two people become parents for the first time. I get to see the moment a woman holds her baby for the first time, the first time she breastfeeds, and I get a glimpse of all the emotions coursing through her in those initial hours. I witness everything from sheer joy to extreme anxiety, doubt, and fear.
I see the sacrifices her body made to nurture that baby, the pain she endures for the baby's birth, and the struggles that come with the postpartum period. I see women who are swollen and sore from a third-degree tear and those who ache, holding their c-section incision as they rise from the bed. I witness their determination as tears roll down their cheeks, and they clench their lips from the pain when their nipples are already sore, but they still want to continue breastfeeding their baby.
I also witness all the beautiful and heartfelt moments they share with their newborn baby and their partner - the tears of joy when they finally hold their baby and the smile on their faces as they see their baby fed and content, resting on their chest.
I see it all, the good and the not so great parts. But one thing is for sure, is that everyone struggles in one way or another. You are not alone. Remember that when you are struggling in your hospital bed or at home, there are many other women around the world in the exact same situation as you, who are also struggling in some way. It’s temporary but it is absolutely important to get the help you need to make it easier for you as you navigate everything that comes with bringing a baby into the world.
Breastfeeding is undoubtedly one of the most significant struggles in and out of the hospital. I did a poll on my instagram page a few weeks ago and 99% said breastfeeding was definitely the biggest challenge they weren’t expecting. I wanted to address this issue and create more awareness about the common hurdles that breastfeeding presents.
It's crucial to discuss it openly. It’s okay to complain. It’s okay to vent to your other girlfriends and sisters because chances are they also struggled. It’s okay to say this part sucks, and it hurts, and it's frustrating as hell! That doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby, being a mother, or that things won’t get better or that you won’t enjoy breastfeeding.
Remember, it's a temporary phase, and you're far from alone in your struggles. Understanding this and preparing for it, getting the right help can make a world of a difference!
Let's normalize this conversation, seek help before and after childbirth, and support one another.
That is all from me this week. I hope I have given you some insight into this if it’s something new to you, and if not, I hope I have made you realize that you are not alone in these struggles. If you would like to share your experience with me, I would love to hear about it. Reach out to me in the contact me page.
